What I Want to Be When I Grow Up

Thursday Thoughts on Saturday: I meant to write this on Thursday, but I never had a chance. So, here goes.

When I was a kid, like most kids, I changed my mind plenty of times about what I wanted to be when I grow up. I first wanted to be a preacher (my dad is a pastor, what can I say?). I would record myself on a tape recorder and that was my radio program. I would preach to my stuffed animals on the front porch. As I got older, I had some great teachers and decided I wanted to be a teacher. Later, I wanted to be a doctor because they make a lot of money. In middle school, we did this cool project where we partnerd with someone in class and figured out what our kid would look like based on our genes. My teacher put me with the cutest guy I knew, my crush! I decided I wanted to be a geneticist, ha. Then, I wanted to be a lawyer because they make good money and my dad said I would make a good one since I always argued with him. In high school, I thought maybe I would study film and be a director. My mind was set on that until I had a trip to the ER to get stitches. I went back to wanting to be a doctor. My senior year, I took Anatomy as my science class. I got to disect a sheep's heart and loved it so much, I decided I wanted to be a pediatric cardiologist. I was accepted to Oral Roberts University and declared my major as Pre-Med: Biomedical Chemistry. I don't know what the heck I was thinking. Science had always been one of my toughest classes to do well in because I didn't enjoy it (other than Anatomy and parts of biology). I stuck it through for 3 semesters. I then realized there was no way I could make it through all 4 years and med school with such a disdain for science classes. I wasn't passionate about science. So what did I change my major to? Science Education. I know, right? Rediculous, but I didn't want to waste all my science credits that I worked so hard for, and I knew I would enjoy teaching. As much as I enjoyed my practicum at Jenks High School, I still hated science. I decided I'd just have to leave all those science classes as extra credits I didn't need. I changed my major to Business Management. I loved it! I had finally found something I could be passionate about doing. After graduating, I still couldn't kick that teacher bug. I enrolled in a Masters & Certification program to earn a masters degree in secondary education and earn my certification to teach business classes. Two years later, I had a plan. Graduate, get married, lead a team on a mission trip to England, move with my husband to New Mexico, get a temporary job and work towards New Mexico certification. Well of course, God wanted me to follow His plan, so He changed it all up. While on our mission trip to England, God closed some doors and opened others. When we came home, we had to look for an apartment. We weren't moving after all. A couple months later, I started working at my church. I took a job that would allow me to use my business skills and as a youth leader also use what I had learned about teaching students. I still work at Solid Rock. I love my job.
But two years ago, when my daughter was born, all my dreams and goals changed. Although my career and ministry is still important to me, all I want to be when I grow up is a good mom. Recently, I heard someone say, "You'll know what kind of a job you've done as a parent when you see what kind of parent your child becomes." That really made me think. I have a lot of habits and behaviors that I learned from my mom, not because she told me to but because she was a major part of my environment. How I treat my husband, how I handle stress, how I worship and pray, how I speak to people...all those behaviors are influencing my children. So when she becomes a mom, will she yell at her kids or discipline them with love and respect? My husband and I have to decide that now, even though she's only 2 and is decades away from being a mom. When my son is a dad, will he spend time with his kids and speak encouraging words to them? Another decision we have to make now, even though he's only 10 months. When I'm a grandma, I want my kids to tell me "thanks for showing me how to be a good parent." I don't think any career goal can top that. And that's finally what I want to be when I grow up.