Friday, June 27, 2008

a mother's strength

I think I sprained my ankle today. I fell outside of Denny's. It was very embarassing but I didn't even care cuz I was in so much pain. I still drove over to my parents with plans on going to SunHarvest after that to get some organic fruits and veggies for L. After "resting" my ankle for over 3 hours, I realized it was hurting more and there was no way I was going to be able to browse the produce section. So I came home. I called Aaron and told him he's going to have to pick up L from day care cuz I can't walk, especially while carrying her.
Now, I'm sitting here at home wondering how things are going to get done. I can't walk without extreme pain. I'm looking at the laundry basket full of L's clothes that needs to be put away. The table needs to be cleared, the dishwasher needs to be emptied, I need to wash our clothes, I need to do a lot of things! Today was so supposed to be cleaning day which is why L is at day care on my day off. (She's allergic to dust and gets sick if she's home when we clean.) I'm not looking forward to sitting here knowing all these things need to be done. I'm a list kind of person and it bugs me if I'm not checking things off my list.
This got me thinking. I'm not expecting this to take too long to heal but even a simple sprained ankle is messing up my routine and list of "mom chores." How am I going to handle it? I have memories of my mom being sick, but it didn't ever stop her. My mom is extremely strong. She's short, petite, and has gone thru more than her share of health struggles, but I don't know anyone stronger than her! She is amazing. Many people in our church know that she has health issues but most don't realize how serious they have been and how often she deals with pain and sickness. She doesn't ever show it. She walks around at church like if everything is fine even though she didn't get much sleep the night before due to the pain she deals with. But she doesn't want sympathy, she wants to enjoy life. She travels and stays active. She doesn't let anything defeat her. When I was a kid, she was always taking care of me no matter what. Here I am worried about how a sprained ankle is going to affect my weekend plans (tomorrow is our 5th anniversary). I just have to accept that I may not be able to do everything I wanted to do but I can still take care of my daughter and love her. I hope that when L is older and she thinks about me she will see me as a strong woman just like the way I see my mom.
And for now, I'll just have to depend on Daddy to help me get some things checked off my list!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

A Reflection of My Milestones

Today is my birthday and I’m now 29 years old. Today doesn’t really feel that different from any other Tuesday. I made bottles and packed L’s lunch this morning, dropped her off at day care and got to work late…pretty normal day! So maybe 29 isn’t really a big deal…after all 30 is the BIG ONE! But I keep thinking this is my last year to be “in my 20s”. So what have I accomplished in my 20s? As I think back, I’m proud of myself. I graduated from college, got my master’s degree, got married, bought my first house, had my first kid, traveled to 8 different countries…I’ve done a lot of the things I wanted to do before I hit 30. I still haven’t jumped out of an airplane but I have another year to do it before 30! My 20s have been great and there’s still more to experience!
My daughter is experiencing her own milestones. She just got her first two teeth, she just started stage 2 baby food, and she can almost sit up on her own. These little milestones in her life are so special to me. Someday she’ll be in high school and spend most of her time in her room on her phone, too busy to hang out with mom and dad all the time. But for now, she just loves to enjoy life with us. Having my baby girl is the most precious milestone of my life! I absolutely love being a mother! So this birthday is special after all because it’s my first birthday as “mom”. No birthday present can beat the gift of motherhood!

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